The Leadership Skill That Changed Everything: My EQ Journey
Ever notice how some people just seem to have it all figured out? They handle challenges with ease, get along with everyone and thrive in all areas of life.
It all comes down to two simple words: emotional intelligence. This ability to understand and manage emotions — yours and others’ — is the real game changer for success and happiness.
I discovered this firsthand in 2022 during a leadership development program offered by my employer, Manheim (part of the Cox family of businesses). What started as general leadership training became an eye-opening journey into emotional intelligence, often referred to as EQ. Here’s what I learned and how it’s reshaped my entire approach to career growth.
IQ vs. EQ: what’s the difference?
When I first heard the “EQ” buzzword during that leadership workshop, I honestly had no idea what it meant. But once we dove into the difference between intelligence quotient (also known as IQ) and emotional intelligence (EQ), everything clicked. I realized this was exactly what I needed to develop if I wanted to grow as a future leader.
Most of us grow up thinking our IQ is our ticket to success. IQ measures our cognitive abilities: things like logic, reasoning and problem-solving — and people with high IQ scores get plenty of recognition for their quick thinking and analytical skills. But here’s what surprised me: research shows that IQ alone doesn’t guarantee happiness, resilience or even career advancement.
That’s where emotional intelligence comes in. EQ is your ability to recognize, understand and manage emotions. Unlike IQ, which stays pretty much the same throughout your life, EQ is a skill you can actually develop and improve at any age. It affects how you interact with people, handle stress, resolve conflicts and build relationships. When you strengthen your EQ, you communicate better, set healthier boundaries and create spaces where trust and teamwork naturally flourish.
3 ways EQ has helped me in my career
An insight from the program that stuck with me was when the learning and development manager who was leading our workshop said: “Your IQ gets you the job; however, your EQ will keep you in the job and will keep you advancing further in your career.”
When our regional VP shared the same quote at our graduation, emphasizing that emotional intelligence was the most important takeaway from the entire program, I knew he was onto something big.
Here are three examples of how developing my EQ has transformed my career:
1. Better mental health and professional presence: Once you learn to manage your emotions, stress and anxiety don’t overwhelm you the same way. I used to be visibly stressed constantly, and it was hurting my personal brand. A leader even told me that I appeared disorganized. After working on my EQ, that same leader said how I seemed like a completely different person within weeks. Developing my EQ helped me recognize when I need help, commmunicate my limits clearly and find healthy ways to handle pressure. This resilience keeps me productive and focused.
2. Stronger relationships and networks: Strong relationships are the foundation of any successful career, and EQ is the key to building them. I learned to read social cues from my colleagues and people leaders, respond thoughtfully and address conflicts directly instead of letting them fester. No gossip — just clear, honest communication. This approach builds trust, builds your reputation as a reliable and supportive colleague and opens doors to new opportunities.
3. More career breakthroughs: People with high EQs know how to motivate others, adapt to change and handle tough conversations with grace. After developing these skills, opportunities started flowing. I became the chairman of an employee-led community engagement group at Manheim, joined multiple ambassador programs and landed several project leadership roles. When you're known for your emotional intelligence, people want you on their teams.
Learn from my experience: How to start developing your EQ today
Building emotional intelligence is a personal, ongoing journey. But that doesn’t mean you have to figure it out alone! Here are some practical tips that made the biggest difference for me, both during the leadership program and beyond:
1. Check in with yourself regularly. Make it a habit to pause throughout the day and notice how you’re feeling and why. What situations consistently trigger strong reactions? When do you feel most confident versus most stressed? This self-awareness is the foundation of everything else.
2. Ask for honest feedback. Reach out to trusted colleagues or mentors and ask how they manage stress, communicate effectively during meetings or collaborate on projects. Be genuinely open to their perspectives — sometimes others spot patterns you might miss.
3. Practice mindful communication. Listen more than you speak. Asking clarifying questions. Reflect on what you’ve heard to make sure you actually understand. This simple shift can transform your relationships.
4. Lean into difficult conversations. Instead of avoiding conflict, approach it with curiosity and empathy. What’s really driving this disagreement? Where might you find common ground? These conversations, when handled well, often strengthen relationships rather than damage them.
5. Keep learning and growing. EQ is not something you master once and forget about — it’s an ongoing practice. Take advantage of development opportunities like training programs, mentorship or even just reading books on emotional intelligence.
Learning about emotional intelligence completely changed my career trajectory, and here’s the best part: anyone can develop these skills with the right mindset and consistent practice. When you develop your EQ, you’re becoming the best version of yourself — not just for your own sake, but for the benefit of everyone around you.
This is just one example of how Manheim and Cox invest in employee development. From leadership programs to mentorship opportunities to continuous learning resources, there’s a genuine commitment to helping people grow both personally and professionally. If you’re looking for a workplace that values emotional intelligence and invests in your potential, I'd encourage you to explore what opportunities might be waiting for you here.
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